Rejection Through the Eyes of a Child

A child. AI image

By Constance Kiconco

One morning, while assessing a client, I asked what they wanted to be after completing their lower-level education.

“I want to be a soldier,” she said.

I asked why.

“I must get a gun. When I grow old, I must have a gun. Maybe then, I can travel across this country and find my father. I hope that when I have a gun, he will respect me. Maybe he will finally tell me why he rejected me.”

The anger in her voice was beyond what I had imagined.

This reminded me of another case—a young boy who told me how he gets irritated whenever he passes by a rubbish heap.

As I probed further, I discovered he was rescued from one and taken to a children’s home. Rejection is as painful as death.

It is a deeply traumatic experience. It wounds the soul and leaves scars that are hard to heal. Studies show that rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain.

Here are some signs of rejection in children:

✅Negative self-talk

✅Aggression

✅Withdrawal from others

✅Hopelessness

✅Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships

✅Loss of trust

✅Negative self-image

✅Decreased resilience

Children who experience rejection often see themselves as unworthy, unlovable, and insignificant. They question their identity, their purpose, and where they truly belong.

They feel isolated and disconnected. Rejection is not just an experience; it is a wound that, if left unattended, shapes an entire life.

Let’s be mindful of the silent battles children fight. A little love, a little kindness, and a little understanding can make all the difference.

Constance Kiconco is a Child & Adolescent Mental Health Counsellor at Mulago Adolescent Clinic, Mulago & Nsambya T1D Clinics

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